Saturday, May 30, 2009

Cukuplah itu untuk hari ini.

Bila di'review' balik posting lepas...
Aku mula sedar... dah lama betul aku tak mengarang puisi..
Bukan apa... takut bila dah lama tak menulis..
Idea jadi lapuk, akhirnya aku jadi kekok nak menulis puisi..
Tapi bila aku conteng2 idea atas kertas...
Aku rasa benci dengan idea aku sendiri..
Aku rasa puisi aku tak berkualiti lagi...
Aku tak ada ilham... atau hilang sumber inspirasi..
Entahlah... aku pun tak mengerti..

Lalu aku memutuskan untuk koyakkan lagi helaian2 kertas tu..
gumpal2 dan dibakulsampahkan..
Aku rasa macam nak nangis...
Kenapa aku jadi mcm ni? Idea aku macam mati...
Akhirnya aku terus taip dalam entry...
tanpa 'draft' aku menulis dari hati...
Walaupun belum sampai tahap 'berpuas hati'
Aku kira cukuplah itu untuk hari ni..

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Senyum aku palsu..
Tawa aku dusta..
Gurau aku bisa..
Jenakaku hanya tutup derita..
Aku membilang hari..
Aku menghitung dosa..
Tiada cagaran, tiada jaminan..
Namun hidup telah kuserahkan..
Aku sudah benci malam..
kerana dalam mimpi kau datang..
Aku sudah benci siang..
Kerana jasadku di sini jiwaku melayang..
Setelah segalanya ku usir pergi..
Derita hadir tak pernah berhenti..
Aku selindung duka dalam hati.
Aku tanam rindu bersama janji...
Aku tak ingin mereka tahu...
bahawa separuh nyawaku telah mati..

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1 comment:

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